bah humbug

I made peanut brittle for the first time ever. I don't need it but it's one of my favorite. It turned out great. I ate too much. Really. I ate a lot of it.

I have made my second batch of homemade biscotti. Gluten free and yummy. There is something about biscotti and coffee that I just love.

I had a cup of peppermint twist coffee this morning. It was good. It made me feel better about this rough week.

Project Fuel has hit our house. Life altering changes coming our way. More on that later.

Fender Bender. Randy couldn't stop on the ice. He thinks he can repair the damage himself. Thank goodness it was just a fender bender.

I have a real life pain in the neck. I haven't been able to turn my head without major pain. I think it will go away when things start calming down a bit. Stress? I think so.

I don't know why I thought child #3 would escape the curse of the skin issues. His entire back is full of dry patches. We are going to the dermatologist on Tuesday. He has a terrible spot on his leg from scratching. My little puppy dog.

Gifts are all wrapped.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. When will it start feeling like it?

signed. sealed. delivered.

Dear Mother of the 4th Grade Bully:

I know you. I know your family. What would you say if I told you that your son is mean at recess? Mean to MY favorite little boy in the whole entire world?

The things that he says to my child sound ridiculous.  Your son teases my guy because he is short. HE already knows that HE is short. We ALL know he is short. Your son tells my boy he is not a good basketball player. HE already knows that baskeball is not his best sport. (He doesn't say these things quiet as nice as I have stated them)

My son IS a second degree black belt. He may be small but I am going to put my money on that he could kick some butt. I'm not so much worried about my son as I am yours. Don't be calling me when your little superstar gets the tar kicked out of him.  We won't be using our words, either. Actions speak way louder than words. YOU should teach YOURS to watch his words. Sooner than later would probably be better.

Respectfully,

Karate Kids Mom

Living Without

As we gear up fo the holidays it is more apparent than ever that I have an eating issue. Not a day goes by when I don't think about having Celiac disease.  When we head out for that 12-hour drive to Chicago, I have to have a game plan for myself.  We don't just run through McDonalds anymore. Which is a good thing.

I am aware, more than ever, of what we are putting inside our bodies. Our eating out has come to an abrupt stop. I miss it but I feel like a different person. I feel better. I feel well.

Gluten? Most people have never heard of it. Plenty of people are still clueless. For the majority of people it will never matter.

In the beginning of going gluten free, I was shocked at peoples comments. Here are a few:

"God made wheat - how can you be allergic to it?" I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO IT! Celiac is an auto-immune disease and my body attacks itself. That is not good. FYI - God made poop and I'm not eating that, either.

"Isn't there a pill you can take? NO! WHY DO I WANT TO TAKE A PILL FOR EVERYTHING?

"Cross contamination? You are going overboard." REALLY? Umm....The cook didn't wash his hands and now there is a little of his pooh and boogers in your nice expensive dinner. You are fine with a little cross contamination - right?

"You can cheat can't you?" Not to repeat myself but rememeber it's just a little pooh in your meatloaf - it won't matter that much, will it? Just imagine the boogers are celery. It'll be fine.

"It's all in your head." SERIOUSLY?

Get the picture?

I don't expect anybody to go out of their way to accommodate my intolerance. That said - I have found much comfort and support in those friends and family who do go out of their way to call me and read ingredients or ask me if something is gluten free. I have also found that some people just don't care. I have heard "Oops! Sorry there is nothing for you to eat here."  I am not offended but I do jump up and down when I know that I matter enough to be considered in the food choices. I appreciate each of you who has ventured down that very pricely gluten free aisle of the grocery store to bake me something special. And for those who don't, it's OK, too.

I always love our trips to Chicago because gluten free is everywhere and completely normal and yummy, too. I am thankful to be spending Thanksgiving with my Chicago  family this year. I am also thankful that they are helping me plan an almost gluten free Thanksgiving. They are such a blessing and joy to me.

If you have family or friends who have an allergy or intolerance - it's really not that hard to make a few changes to your favorite recipe or maybe make something new. I am living a different life now and I can relate to those peanut and dairy allergy people like I never did before.

I guess I'm off my soapbox.

Not forever. Just for today.

Punkin' Head

After Abe worked out for an hour at Taekwando and then played football, baseball and soccer with the 'hood he smelled like a wet dog. Specifically, his head of thick hair smelled like a wet dog. I let him know about it, too. As I recall this is about the time in the "I'm growing my hair out" stage when we go visit Luke and get a boy haircut. He wasn't too happy with that announcement.

He ran upstairs and came down 2 minutes later smelling like Febreeze Pumpkin air freshener.

He had doused his entire head of hair (and then some) in "hair freshener" and then announced he thought he should be able to skip his nightly shower since he smelled so good.

That is just gross.

Happy Birthday Abby

Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful? Isn't she precious?

It's her birthday today. This picture really sums her up in a nutshell. My beautiful bookworm. I maybe should not have pushed those ABC's and 123's so early. For making it seem so important that she memorize her address and phone number (AND her grandparents)before her 2nd birthday. She is ever the over achiever.

Randy has said it best at least 5,000 times the past 24 hours....

"I can't believe that our baby is 23!"

confessions

There are days when I feel like that old third wheel. I'm out of the loop on everything. Maybe the need to belong and feel needed never really goes away. Usually it doesn't bother me. Sometimes it still does.

My blog was set to private for a few days. Long story. Boring story. I'm back. Wide open.

I am somewhat obsessive-compulsive. Always have been. Maybe always will be.

We recently got Bananagram. I love it. We play it almost every day. Until it makes my head hurt. Until all the letters look like vowels. Then I can't play anymore. Until tomorrow. Than I'll be ready again.

I love to read. I am not a casual reader. I like to know how things end. I am impatient. I usually stay up reading all night (OK. I need at least 2 hours sleep) so I can finish whichever book I have started.

I recently stumbled upon a blog. I have been reading it and reading and reading. All I've been doing. You may have heard of her. Remember me? I'm a tad out of the loop. I just recently found it and it is my new obsession. The Pioneer Woman

Trick or Treat for UNICEF

Abe brought home a UNICEF box from school a couple of days ago. He emptied his entire (HUGE) piggy bank into the box. He returned it the next morning to school. Yesterday, he brought home a new box. He emptied the rest of his bank and Randy's spare change and took that box back. Today he brought home a half full box from school. A box with money in it already? He said that was all the money from the teachers and one teacher wrote a $25 check. He was so proud.

When I went to check my e-mail I had a message from the teacher who is in charge of the UNICEF fundraiser for Roosevelt. She wanted Randy and I to be aware of what Abe was doing and wanted to make sure it was OK for her to keep giving him boxes. She thanked us for our support and for raising such a loving and giving young man.

He most definitely has cleared out his savings, with a cheerful heart, for this great cause. He told me that he has been waiting for years for a "good charity" to give his money to. At least since he was 5.

My WONDERFUL husband!

He surprised me with this!

Unforgettable

There are so many dates that we celebrate. First dates. Birth dates. Anniversary dates. And then there are those dates that come each year and hang over you like a big dark cloud. There aren't too many of those (Thank God!).

Randy's mom died from cancer 26 years ago today. It was a Saturday. She weas 52. Randy was the ripe old age of 19 when he lost his mother.

Please keep him in your prayers today.

work in progress

Imagine that! The painter finally has finished painting his own house. I was seriously beginning to wonder. I kid you not, every time Randy had time set aside to paint it would rain. I feel like it has never ever rained so much. Ever. Not since the flood. The one with the ark and the rainbow. We've had almost that much rain since April. That is when Randy was going to start and finish our house.

It reminds me of this book Abe and I just read. The Doll People. I loved it. We talked about if we could live in our house for a 100 years and never leave (like the doll house family). I could. Especially now. The introvert inside me has hit an introvert brick wall. I'll snap out of it. I always do.

Tomorrow we are getting a new bookstore and coffee shop! Today was moving day. Randy and Abe and I went to check it out tonight. Randy has spent so many hours there painting it isn't like we were just walking in off the street to snoop(oh! I can justify). Maybe they had found a nail hole he missed filling or something. In the end I wanted to stay and help. They didn't ask me and really why would they? It just looked like fun. Fun work. Is there such a thing? While I was snooping I found a sign. It stopped me dead in my tracks. A sign for me and this old house. I need to hang it, potentially on my forehead, to remind me not to have a pity party for myself. To stop feeling so down and out about everything. About nothing.

It said, "It's A Wonderful Life."

It is indeed.

Zzzzzz

I remember laying in my bed and hearing all the adults downstairs. Laughing. Having so much fun. Playing games. Having the time of their life. And my mom made me to go to go to bed! So unfair. Life is very unfair at 9 (and at 44). And this nine year old was NOT going to miss out on a thing. Until he could not keep his eyes open for one more minute. And then we found him sound asleep. At the top of our stairs.

our evening walk

"It is so nice out."
"It would have been the perfect night to go the football game."
"Yes it is. Randy should have taken his dad, except for the crowd."
"Right. it would have been the perfect night for the football game except for all the people."
"Right. The person right beside you may have the Swine Flu and then sneeze all over you."
"Right. You would be sitting really close to everybody."
"Weird. I think I felt some rain drops."
"Me, too. I thought I felt them back at the Car Wash."
"Really? Let's look at the street lights and see if we see anything."
"I don't see anything."
"Me, either."
"Cathy Carrier said a very slight chance of rain."
"Great. Randy was going to paint our house in the morning. That is a sure sign it will rain."
"Gee....it's really coming down."
"Let's run. We can start our jogging tonight."
"Just call me Rocky Balboa with my grey hoodie on."
"At LEAST you have a hoodie."
"Randy should come and pick us up unless he is in the basement and does not know it's raining."
"Whatever happened to our plan of never being without a cell phone?"
"hmmm....."
"Look at the street lights. It is really raining!"
"Let's run into Pizza Hut and call him."
"oops. That was the Health Department. Now I got the answering machine. I should have probably left a message. I'll try the cell. Maybe he is on his way right now. Or maybe he doesn't hear the phone."
"I'll call Chad and then he can keep trying call Randy."
"You didn't even know it was raining?"
"I guarantee you that Randy doesn't even know it's raining, either."

we leave Pizza Hut. It is still pouring rain.....

"Maybe we should go into Quiznos and call again."
What if they see Quiznos and Wendy's and Pizza Hut on caller ID? That would be funny."
"You should call Liz to run across the street and tell Randy to come and get us."
"I'm guessing by the time that happens we will be almost home."
"I am so glad we didn't go to the game."

we are drenched. Randy and Abe pull up to the curb.

"Why didn't you answer the phone?"
"I told dad that I thought Pizza Hut was prank calling us. I answered and could hear a bunch of people laughing."
"I think that was us laughing."

Thanks for the ride, boys!

somethin' somethin'

Our Church went out into the community to do mission work on Sunday. We originally signed up to fill Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes. Lots of people signed up for the boxes so I told them to move us wherever we were needed. We went on a nursing home visit instead. Randy was frustrated. That was not his choice. However, in the end I think the change was meant to be.

We were blessed to chat with two remarkable woman. They both loved to talk about themselves and I loved listening.

The first one was 102. She has no visitors. She has no living relatives. Her only brother died suddenly at the age of 45. She was two years older than him. She told me this over and over. Bless her heart! She did not marry until she was in her 50's. She has no children. She is all alone. Her life was neither happy or unhappy, she told us. Just filled with lots of events. She would love for me to come back. When Randy prayed she squeezed my hand very hard. Abe said she squeezed his hand, too. I am planning on a visit this week. I will bring flowers and chocolate.

The second lady had five children and then her and her husband adopted a baby because she felt so sad with her kids grown. She had a married daughter, kids in college and a middle schooler, 9 year old and a baby. The baby grew up and died of HIV. He was 41. She did not like to admit he was gay, she told us. She was pregnant when she got married in 1939. Her mother-in-law arranged for an abortion after the wedding. She was married for 63 years and they never once talked about it. I'm not sure why she told me all of this.

I have been thinking how these two women dealt with sadness and grief. They both seem very strong and stoic. Don't they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? That must be true.

It just goes to show that everybody has their "something" that they deal with. Life's hard. And then you wind up in the nursing home.

a whole lotta draggin' going on

Jamie asked me if I thought Abe was easy because he was my third. Would I have felt the same had he been my first born? Honestly, I had never even given much thought to that until she asked me.

He has been easy since he made his grand entrance. OK. The birth and C-Section were the worst ever but since then....easy. Is that because he was my third? Is it because I was older and had been through the drill twice before? Or was it that he had a big sister who was 10 when he was born and thought he was her real live baby doll. She was a huge help (and continues to be).

Sometimes I think he is coming out ahead to have been born when he was. Mostly, I feel bad for the little guy. I think he got the raw end of the deal. He doesn't have any brothers or sisters to hang out with or argue with or share life with. I know when he is an adult those things will change (I pray).

We seem to have lots going on and he gets drug everywhere and has to share our grown up agendas. I promised him last weekend that we would spend Saturday afternoon hanging out. One on one. Doing HIS things. We walked to the park and played games. I felt like HE was dragging me on adventures that he wanted to do. I loved it. If I don't schedule those things with him they don't happen.

Annie is coming home this weekend. The craziness continues but I will make sure Abe doesn't get left out. We will just drag him with us. And maybe, before it's all said and done, he can drag us with him. I sure hope so.

FALL!!!

1. The Corn Maze after dark
2. Pumpkins
3. Spiced Cider
4. Drinking coffee on the front porch after dark
5. Roasting marshmallows
6. Soup in the crock pot
7. Chili
8. Warm Cornbread
9. Frosted Sugar Cookies
10. My North Park sweatshirt
11. My K-State hoodie
12. Pumpkin flavored anything
13. Pumpkin candles
14. My scarecrow
15. Halloween candy (mostly bite sized Snickers)
16. Open windows
17. Sweaters
18. It gets dark early
19. The trees on Maple Street
20. Our trip to Chicago for Thanksgiving is just around the corner!!!!

everything old is new again

Annie mentioned that she wanted a spoon ring. Her request reminded me that I had a spoon ring. I also had a pet rock and a mood ring. I thought I may still have the spoon ring but I did not or at least I could not find it. Suddenly, I was in pursuit for a spoon ring for my hippy daughter.

I told my parents to keep their eyes out for mine OR a new one. They travel to Branson frequently and for some reason a spoon ring seems like a Silver Dollar City kinda thing. My dad (being his usual self) mentioned that HE could make her a spoon ring. They just happened to have a box of old spoons just sitting around.

If you know my dad you know that he could make just about anything. He was my go-to guy for any and every project I had growing up (these days, too) I had the coolest puppet theater out of an old box fan and I had a great barbie bed that was made with big screws and countless other fabulous things that my dad created. With love. Just for me. He could even make something out of nothing. My brother and I would love, Love, LOVE when he would hoe roads in our dirt garden for our little cars and trucks. We would travel those roads for hours.

It was still a wonderful surprise when he brought me over the most authentic and beautiful spoon rings. I love mine and Annie will, too.

Thanks Pops!

My Day Off. From what - I have no idea

Since January I have had Friday's off. However, I don't sleep in OR stay in my jammies until noon. It seems that every single Friday I have something or other to fill my time with. Here is what I did today.

• Breakfast at Neighbors Cafe. (Fancy Browns are gluten free and I have had no repercussions eating them)
• Picked up a few bargains at the new Walgreens
• Filled up with gas
• Went to a weird garage sale. Didn't buy a thing.
• Went to look at an enclosed trailer for Randy. It had already sold. Even though the man had told Randy he would call him with a price. Turned out he sold it to a trailer dealer just yesterday.
• Painted pottery with Abe and my mom.
• We took our window air out of our bedroom. Even though we have central air, it's about 10 degrees warmer upstairs. I like to be COLD when I am sleeping.
• Cleaned 2 bathrooms.
• My dad and Abe realized I have a song on my I-pod with inappropriate language.
• My dad made me a Spoon Ring. My dad rocks!
• Went with Abe to put in the neighbors dogs and feed fish.
• 1 load of laundry. I did well keeping up with that this week.
• Had an entire conversation with my friend on Blackberry Messenger :-)
• Cleaned out my expired coupons and clipped many more and filed them.
• Was a taste tester for a new pumpkin drink at the coffee shop. It was delish, BTW!
• Worked 2 hours on an online photo album. (This stuff stresses me out)
• Randy and I decided to paint the kitchen. I have had a red kitchen for over 8 years. Now it's GREEN!
• Walked 3 miles with my mom.
• Realized, on my walk @ 8:00, I had not eaten since the hashbrowns @ 9:00.
• Played Bananagrams. Won one and lost one.
• Ran to Wal-Mart at midnight for M&M's. Tried to go through McDonald's for a diet coke but there were 10 cars ahead of me in line and the line NEVER moved.
• It is officially Saturday. That was my Friday in a nutshell.

P.S. Happy Birthday Pam!!!

what's in YOUR wallet?

I went to the library to check out a book just like I've done a million times before.

The Librarian took my card and said, "You have one of the older cards. (which I took as a compliment)
To which I replied: I know. I have had that card since 1984.
She responded: Our new system will no longer accept your card. We are offering replacement cards for free right now. Would you like one? (which I took as a personal attack)

What was I going to say? NO? That maybe, just maybe, I was attached to that little piece of plastic that I had since right after my move to McPherson. The EXACT card. I have never lost it. It has never been stolen or misplaced. Every time we moved they would slap a new label with my name and current address. That was long before computers. Then one day they put a label with a bar code on the back so that they could scan my card into their new computer. No more stamping a card pulled out of the back of the book. No more pulling the card out to see who else had read the same book. Nope. Those days are long gone along with my old card.

So I left the library with my brand spankin' new card. I was feeling kind of nostalgic about that old card. The labels were all rubbed off and you could just see part of my first name and part of my address from 3 moves ago.

Abe would remind me of that vintage card every time I pulled it out of my wallet for the Librarian.

He wold say: Mom! Your card is OLD! Why don't you get a new one?
To which I would reply: I know. I've had it as long as I've been married to your daddy. This card is the oldest thing in my purse. I checked out books for your sisters with this card.
To which he would respond: That IS old!

Feeling sentimental today, I guess. Over a library card. Who woulda thought?

N.I.N.E.

The other day we found ourselves with some down time. Abe wanted me to read to him. Not a chapter book (as is our usual reading material lately) but picture books. The Rainbow Fish. The Hungry Caterpillar. We had so much fun reading that we went upstairs to the attic and dug down some of his sisters favorite books as well.

Abby's favorite book was "Minnie Mouse's Counting Book."

Randy and I still have this entire book memorized. Word for word. I think Abby could count to 10 by her first birthday. Seriously, we read this book ten thousand times. Before lunch. Every single day.

Next, Abe chose to read Annie's favorite book. "Love You Forever."

A couple of things really stood out when we were reading this.

First - Annie was really hard on her books. She colored in her books. A lot. And mostly the letter A. Also, the page about the little boy going to college was missing. Strange since Annie IS IN COLLEGE right now. What would she do if I drove to Manhattan with a ladder. Climbed up to her window and snuck in? Well, for one thing - she probably wouldn't even be there! That is exaclty why she tore that page out. She did not want to give me any crazy ideas.

Second - When I got to the page about the nine year old boy, it brought tears to my eyes. My BOY is nine! He is not eight. He is not ten. He is 9! No more little baby with his binky and his favorite silky. No more toddler in overalls and a striped t-shirt. No more little boy crying because EVERY KID in kindergarten has lost a tooth except for him. Nope. Nine. Do you know what I told that crazy nine year old kid?

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be.

Romeo

Him: Mom, when you were in the fourth grade did you like anybody?
I don't think he means did I have any friends.

Me: Are you asking me if I liked a boy?

Him: Yep. Did you like a boy.

Me: No I did not.
There is no way I am going to let this drop until I have asked him a thing or two.

Me: Is there a girl that you like?

Him: Yep.
I was in debate - I am a good cross examiner!

Me: Does she like you, too?

Him: Yep.

Me: How do you know she likes you?

Him: It's complicated. There are chases on the playground at recess. I can't really explain it.

Me: Do you write notes?

Him: Yep but they usually get stolen or torn up. I also have three backups.

Me: Three BACKUPS?

Him: Yes. There are three other girls who like me. One of them I don't even know. She is somebody's cousin who goes to another school and likes me.

Me: RANDY!!!!!

Stupid is a bad word. Stupid is the right word.

Back in January when my boss cut my hours from 5 days to 4, I was very surprised. It caught me off guard. It has turned out to be a blessing. I love having my Fridays off.

Work has not picked up as expected so the decision was made to let Heather go. She has been here for 3 years and was a huge help to me. Yesterday was her last day. It has been really hard for me. Much harder than I expected. She is a great person and I loved having her here. I will miss having her down the hall from my office. I will miss laughing with her about things we heard on the radio. I will miss hearing about all her adventures down on the farm.

Stupid economy.

When I was sharing with Annie and Abe how the afternoon was so terrible for me, I was surprised to see how upset Abe was. I had to laugh when I found out why. "How will we get our brown eggs?" I assured him that Heather will still bring me her farm fresh brown eggs we have all grown to love.

I still have a job and Randy has two. But for everybody that does not - I feel compassion. Gut wrenching sadness. The American dream may be harder to come by. If you work hard and are responsible and dependable you will have a job. That was then. This is now.

Stupid economy.

Hate is a strong word. Hate is the perfect word.

Seriously. I cannot believe that this week turns into August. AUGUST! That means back to school.

This year will be yet another year of transition at our house. Changes I am not looking forward to at all. I hate change. I hate schedules. I hate when school starts.

Abe goes into fourth grade. FOURTH grade! Annie was in fourth grade when Abe was born so I know exactly how old fourth grade is. My baby, my little hug-a-bug, my little buddy is in the 4th grade.

Annie moves back to Manhattan in a couple of weeks. She has an apartment so that means her weekend home trips won't be as frequent. It also means that she will probably be getting a part-time job there and won't be as "free" to just hang out as she was last year. I remember her move into Goodnow Hall like it was yesterday. YESTERDAY! It has been an entire year! My fourth grader is now a sophomore in college.

Abby starts the masters program at North Park next month. She LOVES school. I don't think she ever wants to be out of school. That is probably why she is going to be a teacher.

In my house the kids look forward to school starting and it's the mom who hates it.

I HATE AUGUST!

10:02 pm

Abe is a go-getter. He is a first degree black belt and he is getting ready to test for his second degree. He can climb to the top of our house and see McPherson. He climbs to the teeniest tiniest twig clear at the top a tree. He loves all of outdoors. He is a take charge kind of kid. He loves the water and shooting guns and slingshots. He is Mr. Independent.

He went to summer camp for the first time on Monday.

When I packed him up and kissed him good-bye I had that mommy feeling. If I know one thing only it is this: I know my kids. (OK - except when Abby decided to get married in 30 days - THAT surprised me) So I had an ace in the hole. His sister went to camp with him. To be a counselor.

So I was a little surprised when I got the call last night. A sobbing, hyper ventilating little boy wanting his mommy and daddy. He couldn't find his toothpaste OR his black shorts with the white stripes he was supposed to wear to sleep. Did I mention he was a little hysterical? He wanted his mommy and daddy?

After our talk, Annie took him for a Gatorade and Starbursts. There isn't too much that candy and Gatorade doesn't fix for a 9 year old little boy.

I asked Annie how SHE was doing at camp. She was exhausted. The night before four girls had been homesick. She tried to comfort them telling them if she survived going off to college they could surely survive a few days at camp! She braided hair and made them all feel better. There isn't much cute hair won't fix for 9 year old girls. Girls of any age, really.

Tomorrow my campers come home.

Did I mention that I am homesick for both of them?

In the summertime

You get to have birthday parties at the Water Park! So much better than inside four walls!

You get to go out on the boat. Twice. In 5 days.

You get to sit out on the porch. Every single night. And talk to all the neighbors. And your husband. And your wonderful kids.

You get to buy watermelon. Every week.

You don't have to dust. You just say it is wheat floating around. From harvest. You know - South of town. We live very South.

You get the joy of seeing the first tomato. And eating it.

You get the joy of picking to first perfect size cucumber. And slicing it. And eating it.

You get to smell the fresh cut grass. And remember your yard isn't so bad after a good mowing!

Your little boy gets to have a summer time hair cut. And feel about 20 degrees cooler afterwards.

You get to grill supper. Every single night.

You get to go and grab Sundaes. And go to the park and eat them.

You get to see teeny tiny flowers you planted a couple of months grow. Really big. And remember all the time it takes to water. Weed. Water. Weed.

You get to see all the baby bunnies go to new homes. And know that another child will enjoy the excitement of their first pet bunny.

You get to send your little guy to church camp. For the first time. With his big sister as a counselor. Blessed Assurance.

You get to splurge and buy plane tickets. For the girls. So they can come and spend some summer back home.

I feel like such an old fart (and I know what you are thinking...be nice!) Summer used to be forever long. Now I can't believe that is July. JULY!

I will miss it when it's gone.

and so it goes

Summer is going way too fast. When I was a kid summer lasted FOREVER. I have so much I want to get done and so far not much has gotten done. Why am I not surprised?

What I am looking forward to:

Girls weekend - starts Friday!!
Fourth of July - I don't know why I love this so much. Maybe the three day weekend. (I know it's not always a three day weekend - but it is this year)
Abe's first trip to church camp - he will have the time of his life.
Royals game and Worlds of Fun - not on the calender yet but someday soon....

he makes me laugh

Abe has the most marvelous gift of a sense of humor. Just by being himself he makes me smile. Maybe it is because he talks. A lot. He talks a lot. All the time, really. So the odds are good that something silly is just around the bend.

Just recently:

After seeing the sign Sorry, we are closed, he asked us what if a store was so awful that the sign hanging in the window would say, "Sorry, we are open."

He asked my dad what if a clown went home after work and said, "I really hate my job!"

He just got back from a long weekend with his grandparents and his cousin. The entire 5 hour ride to Branson he sat in the sun. He told his cousin that he was not going to sit in the sun all the way home and they were going to change seats. Guess what? He was in the sun the entire way home!

At McDonald's he ordered a McMuffin. And coffee. Black.

We have been trying to figure out his hair. He wants it long and it usually looks awful. Last night it looked really good. I asked him what he did different. Did he put some of Grandma's hair gel in? He said, "I don't think I did anything different. I think what you are referring to is called SWEAT!" That is really very gross. Funny but gross.

...and then he was nine

My precious little boy is 9. He says things to make me smile. He helps me with all my electronics. He is mellow. He doesn't care what other people think. He loves the library. He loves the coffee shop. He wants to have fun. He laughs - a lot. He laughs at me - a lot. He makes me laugh at myself - a lot. He loves to ride his bike. He helps his dad. He helps me. He adores his sisters and his brother-in-law and especially his niece. He loves his cousins and his grandparents and his aunts and uncles. He wants to eat peanut butter on everything. He plays the piano and now his new electric guitar. He is secure. He is strong. He is almost a second degree black belt. He loves baseball. He will try anything once. He will climb anything. He isn't afraid of failure. He will keep me young or will make me really old. I love him - that son of mine.

Crazy May

In my life, May is busier than December ever is! It starts off with my birthday (Happy Birthday to me!) and then my dad (Happy Birthday, Dad!) and then All Schools Day. Mothers Day (Happy Mothers Day, Mom!) and then is Abe's birthday (Happy Birthday, little buddy!) and then the past few years graduations. This year we made the trek to Chicago for Abby's. This coming up weekend I think we have something like 5 graduation open houses. Back in the day - both of my Grandpa's had May birthdays and my Grandma had a birthday in May, too.

I feel like we are plugging away and I feel as if our biggest accomplishment is that Abe is having a birthday party with his friends. This has not happened for several years. Poor little guy. His birthday is stuck between so much stuff that we do good to make it to the park with cake and balloons and our extended family!

Here are some pictures from our trip.

My Beautiful College Graduate.

Abe trying on Professor Willits' cap. Before I know it HE will be graduating from college. Probably on his birthday!
Tre Kroner

Abby and one of her best friends, Jenny.

Proud Mamma

Somebody told me just the other day that I looked really sad. Really? I wasn't surprised to have heard it. I was surprised nobody had said anything before that.

I have been feeling out of sorts lately. Tired, mostly. Not the kind of tired that a long nap or a good 10 hours of sleep would fix, either. It is purely emotional from this job of mine. The one I took without ever even reading the job description. Of course, there was no job description. I'm not so sure I would have been on board had I known all the unknowns before I started. Today, I can honestly say I would do it all again. Yes. I would do it a million times over. However, there have been many days you would not have heard those words from my lips. When I think about all we've been through I can't help but feel melancholy (tired? sad?)

22 years and 5 months ago I brought a little teeny tiny girl home from the hospital weighing less than 6 pounds and next week she graduates from college. GASP!

She has experienced so much these past four years. All those trips to Union Station in Chicago on public transportation with all of her luggage that was as big as her and her 75# backpack. In the rain. In a snowstorm. The time that half way to Newton at 3 a.m. she realized she did NOT have a train ticket for her return trip to Chicago. The flights into KC and into Wichita. The almost missed flight. The delayed luggage. The roommate changes. The trips walking to Aldi's for milk. Heartbreak. Chemistry. Greek (not finished with that yet) New friendships that will last a lifetime. 2 laptops. Several jobs. Whirlwind romance and marriage and motherhood.

I never ever thought that I would live to see this. It always seemed so very far away. Getting here has been a lot of work for both of us. It has been difficult and a joy, It was awful and wonderful. It has been a wild ride. One that I am proud and blessed to have shared with Abby. I am a better person because of her.

Thank you God, for this daughter of mine.

almost finished

Two days and I am done with my college class. Two semesters of accounting just about did this old brain in! I'm glad I did it but I will be more glad when it is Friday morning and it is over!

Abby is on countdown to graduation. That means we are on countdown to go to Chicago. Next week will be a huge milestone and I can hardly wait.

Annie is almost finished with her freshman year at K-State. To say this year flew by would be an understatement. Before we know it we will be going to her graduation!

Two grown up girls and one almost 9 year old boy. It really is a wonderful (and strange) place to be.

Happy Earth Day!

Randy and I joke that we have been "green" long before it was cool. We have always had to "recycle" and "repurpose" because of our budget. OK. To be completely honest - our LACK of budget. For 25 years we have garage saled and went to auctions and even picked up other peoples junk from their trash heap. I am not the one who has to be at the garage sale first, either. The stuff I like is always there at the end! I know that saying way too well, "One mans junk is anther mans treasure."

I have recently realized that I have large motor art skills. I have all these brilliant ideas and then I don't have the skills to get them done. However, I do my best to do things on my own and manage to drive Randy completely insane in the process. An example is this project from this week.

I bought these chairs at a tag sale years ago. They have been rebuilt several times and are totally falling apart right now. But I still love them. They have also been many colors and since the paint was peeling I decided to re-paint them all by myself. Shocker, I know. I went in our basement and found some paint I liked and I went to my craft box and dug out some sponge brushes and went to work. When Randy saw me using those sponge brushes he laughed so hard. He offered me a real paint brush. I told him the idea was for these chairs to look old and I wanted the paint to look like it was WEARING off not peeling off and I didn't need a professional paint job, thankyouverymuch. When I was all done he said, "Oh! I get it now." That statement sums up 25 years of marriage. That honesuckle in the background was from a shoot that somebody gave us. I don't even have a green thumb and am shocked how it completely took over that space.

This is our new shed. I will post the finished picture after it is painted. We got those doors at a garage sale. The siding is from our old carport and the shingles and tar paper were in our garage from the previous owner. The concrete was poured from a left over batch. I LOVE it!

So go out and recycle, repurpose and replant!

My faves

My current list of indulgences.

1. Oral B Pulsar Toothbrush. I have never liked electric toothbrushes but this is a cross between a manual and an electric. I absolutely love it.

2. Venus Spa Breeze. No need for shaving cream!

3. My Blackberry. I adore it. I think that I am way more of a "techie" than I would like to admit it. All the sibling rivalry between my brothers, I guess.

Checking in or quiet possibly I am checking out

It seems like I am busy as ever. I just can't pinpoint (no pun intended) with what.

I think I have a dairy or casein allergy. A lot of celiac patients have a casein intolerance and so it's not as hypochondriac as it seems. I have been in complete denial for sometime because for goodness sakes! I have already cut out gluten. I am not a milk drinker or a cheese eater- but I love yogurt (it makes me feel not so good, though) and cheese IN recipes. This may be the thing that pushes me over the edge. So I decided to take an alternative route. I have visited the other side. The side of alternative treatment.

I feel like I'm walking a fine line between thinking I have went off the deep end and trying to have some sort of faith in something that I think is absolutely ridiculous. But I also think that maybe God has led me in this direction. I have no other explanation.

I am on day 6 of homeopathic treatment (at least that is what I think it is). I have eaten chocolate chips and soaked my left heel. Next up? Acupuncture.

I always thought that I was a "normal" person, whatever that means! Why do I have all these food issues? What have I done wrong? It was always so bizarre that Abby had so many food allergies when Randy and I were perfectly fine. Fine being a relative term.

No Easter Bunnies

The bunnies didn't make it and Abe did not take to that news very well.

He dug a wooden box out from under his bed and emptied the contents all over his floor. Then he wrote on the top of it with a sharpie:

Here Lies:
Bugs II
Jr.
Sissy (Annie's nickname)
Lullaby
GoJo (Abby's nick name)

This morning we could not find his glasses. He went to school without them. He remembered taking them off when he was crying really hard about those bunnies. When we were looking for his glasses earlier I could not help but notice the MESS his room was. Before work I did a quick run through of all the loads of laundry laying on his floor. Low and behold what do I find? His glasses. Mixed right in with all the junk treasures he had dumped from the burial box.

I was really frustrated and am trying to see the positive. I am thankful that we did not step on the glasses in our frantic search this morning.

Live and Learn

Remember this? Now we have 5 babies! When we got bunny number two last summer - Randy thought we were getting two males OR two females. What does he know anyways? Let me tell you! He knows nothing about bunnies.

When we got our dishwasher (see here) there was a slotted organizer on the silverware basket. I promptly took that annoying thing off and stuck it in a junk drawer. When we were at a neighbors Friday night she was loading her dishwasher. She had that divider on her silverware basket and how cool it was! All of her silverware was separate and not all nestled together. I went home and promptly dug mine out and stuck it on. Thank goodness it wasn't one of those things I had given away to Save-and-Share or trashed because that would have been so typical of me.

I have exactly three Accounting II classes left. My brain is totally sick and tired of it. I sat down last night to do my homework and I ain't got nothin'. I looked at it and scribbled some numbers down and shut my book. Tonight I will attempt it again. What is wrong with me?? I am so done with that class.


Abby was accepted into North Park Seminary. We are so happy for her. Abby and school are like the energizer bunny. She will keep going and going and going. And when she is finished I am guessing her job will be at a school.

so sneaky

I can tell that I'm not as young as I used to be. OK, besides the gray hair, laugh lines and cellulite. I cannot stay up as late I once did. The consequences of too little sleep follow me around for days.

5 short weeks

When we moved Abby to North Park her freshman year, I could not even imagine graduation day. I was worried how we would be getting her home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And by the time she would actually be graduating my adorable little five year old boy would be(gasp)nine!! There is a huge difference between a five year old boy and a nine year old boy.... AND Annie would have graduated from highschool and be in college herself. She still wasn't even driving stick shift. College? Hardly! Honestly, I could not envision these things coming to pass for the life of me.

There was a package waiting for me on my porch yesterday. Abby's graduation announcements. I've read them over and over and over again. I am as proud as a mamma could ever be. She has experienced a life time of memories in four short years. We left a small town girl with strong will and determination and a mind of her own in the city. Today she is a big city girl who is smart and wise with more determination than ever.

Last night I realized that I only see her about 7 days a year. I won't lie. I cried. When she was little it had never crossed my mind that someday she would grow up AND move so far away. Although, looking back, I should not be so surprised. She was three going on sixteen. Lil' Miss Independent. I'm glad she is following her dreams -but it's still stinkin' hard on a mommy's heart.

I'm on countdown to May 7th. I can hardly wait!

closet Hanna fan

"Mom, I know you really want to see Hannah Montana but I AM NOT going to the movie theater with you. That would be way too embarrassing. We will have to wait and rent it on video when it comes out.

I did not even know a Hannah Montana movie was coming out which would lead me to believe that Abe really wants to see it and is just using me as his decoy.

I Love Spring!

In the winter spring we can build a snowman....

hair cuts for all.

Things just seem off in my life. I have no idea why. It could be because we are "in between" seasons and the one we are on the edge of (lots of snow in the forecast) is the one I hate! The older I get the more I am aware of how the weather really plays a part in my mood.

Chloe had a haircut yesterday. She is totally deaf. She can't get up in the blazer so I have to lift her. She is getting very old and she is really showing her age. I told Abe I would take him to Wal-Mart so he could pick her out a new collar. I have a feeling her days are numbered.

Abe was letting his hair grow. He has enough hair for two kids. It was at an awkward length and between his stickin' up wavy hair and his really big two front teeth it was just too much for mamma to handle. Now he has a brand new haircut but I feel like his bangs are too long. I guess we'll have to go and see Luke again.

Speaking of Abe, he has had a stomach ache since Monday night. It's about to put mamma over the edge. He says it's a 10 on a scale from 1 to 10. He stayed home Tuesday. By mid afternoon he seemed fine. He has no fever. No throwing up. No bathroom issues. Nothing. Just a tummy ache. He went to school yesterday. He came home and crawled into bed. He slept for 2 1/2 hours. That means he doesn't feel good. Still a tummy ache! I tried to get him into the dr. This is what the nurse said, "If it's that bad take him the ER we don't have time to see him today." That was lovely. So now we have an appointment for today at 3:45. We've pressed all the important places (ie: lower left side) and it just hurts EVERYWHERE! We went over all the other "nerve" stuff, too. Are kids teasing him? Picking on him? Teacher problems? Nothing! I would like to blame it on gluten but since we've had him tested for Celiac and it was negative I cannot. I have no idea what it could be.

I was supposed to have a haircut of my own last Monday. Because of Spring Break it was moved back two weeks. My sister-in-law told me she hasn't had a haircut since May. LAST MAY! I am very impressed because her hair looks really good! I thought about challenging myself to see how long I could go but I now know 8 weeks is too long in between haircuts for my two strands of hair. Tomorrow is my lucky day. I can hardly wait.

good thing my bottle of Tylenol was a buck

Dillons is having their buy 10 items and get an additional $5 off sale. This is the Mega Event that always puts me over the edge. So this time I had a plan.

I took my 30 coupons and my list of 30 items and Randy and Abe. My plan? I would be purchasing the 30 mega event items and Randy would fill his cart with the other things. It worked fabulous! I wouldn't get confused and I could be certain that I had thirty items which in turn would equal an additional $15 savings. In the end, even the checker and carry out boy were impressed with how much I got for a mere $20.00!

The sale ended last night so I thought I would go once more and stock up on some bargains. I was going to get 20 items which would convert to an additional $10.00 off. So I got in line and unloaded my groceries. The people in front of me had $579 worth of groceries! And then there was an issue with the register freezing up. So they closed up shop and told me I would have load back up and switch registers. So I loaded my 20 items back in my cart and moved over to the 12 items or less. The only other lane open!

After all this drama I completely lost focus (I am sure this does not surprise you). When I got home I thought I had better double check my receipt. Sure enough. Only 1 $5 discount. I counted my groceries. 20. I counted the items on my receipt. 20. Then I started looking at the little + signs to see how many qualifiers I had. 19. Turns out the Chex Mix was the wrong size so it didn't count toward the mega event!

I grabbed my Chex Mix and my receipt and headed back to Dillons. It was around 8:15. Imagine my surprise when I get to the Customer Service counter and see CLOSED signs. I had no idea that the customer service center closed at 8:00. Just my luck. However, Justin (who I have gotten to know on a first name basis since the Grocery Game) was so kind to run me through a register. I got $6.89 back! Can you believe that? That was an expensive bag of Chex.

Six bucks here and six bucks there. It all adds up! It all adds up to a big ole head-ache, that's what.

We're moving!

Not really - but it sure feels like it. Our windows are coming today (finally!) and we had to take all blinds and curtains off of 23 windows. Yep. 23 windows. This process required a ladder since our windows are so stinkin' tall. Then we had to move all of our furniture inside the room so it was all away from our windows. And then I took some pictures off the wall (there may be some hammering and I didn't want them to fall off). And then I took my favorite humongous mirror down "just in case." This reminds me of our entire house floor covering redo.

I asked Randy since I could see exactly what our neighbors were watching on their TV from our bathroom window did that mean they could see me as well? I was really wishing he had left the shade on the bathroom window until after my morning shower.

Spring Break

Can I just say that there were many years that I thought I was in way over my head with two daughters. It was hard! The funny thing about that is all I ever wanted were two girls. Sisters. There were many, many times it took every ounce of energy for me to get out of bed and face another day with those two. They would fight. One was picky. Then the other one was picky. Then they would fight. And then Abby did not want Annie around when her friends were over. All Annie ever wanted was to hang out with Abby. Abby was mad. Annie would cry. On and on and on.

This weekend Annie is heading out to Chicago to spend an entire week with her sister AND Abby is looking forward to it! Miracles do happen. Seriously, since Abby went away to college the girls have become best of friends. I'm not sure how that happened but it did and I am thrilled.

I remember many spring breaks spent playing Sorry and Dr. Mario and Lego's with the girls. This year they will be hanging out at Starbucks and on Michigan Avenue.

Don't worry about me. Abe and I will play Sorry and Dr. Mario and Lego Batman on the Wii. Just like the good old days! Except without the fighting.

Delight Magazine - now Gluten Free!

Check out this amazing new magazine! Delight gluten free is a fun food & lifestyle magazine for people with Celiac Disease, gluten intolerance and food allergies. It hosts delicious gourmet recipes and easy semi homemade as well. Don't miss the Gluten-Free Meals on a Budget either. Whatever your food allergy you should be able to find something that fits your household, in their February issue they offer gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, egg-free, soy-free and even some rice-free recipes. Not only that, this magazine has a travel section coming in May that will host lots of fun ideas and good advice for when you venture out on the road. Personal stories, inspiring articles on Autism, Q & A with the Doc are among the other features of this magazine.
Subscribe to Delight Magazine!!

Happy B-Day Barbie!

My first Barbie arrived for my 6th birthday. I loved her but one thing really bugged me is that she had sunglasses that were stuck on her head which made it hard for me to comb her hair. That summer I went to spend the week at my grandparent's and all I wanted was to take those glasses off. My grandma told me I probably should just leave them on or I would loose them. So what did I do? I snuck into the living room after breakfast and tore those things off and hid them in a magazine rack.

What I remember is every time we went for a visit I would look for those little bitty baby blue sunglasses and could never find them. I did not want to ask my grandma because she would remember that she told me not to take them off because I would be sure to loose them (think Red Rider BB Gun). The entire summer all I wanted was those little glasses. Why on earth did I take them off in the first place?

My cousins gave me all their Barbies and one of them had a black and white striped swimsuit. I could not find my swim suit ANYWHERE. When I was sleeping over at my best friend Tami's house guess what I found? My barbie swimsuit! How could my best friend steal from me? I had no choice but to steal it back.

Imagine my surprise when a few days later I found MY black and white striped Barbie swimsuit. I had to sneak that stolen swimsuit back.

Now that I think about it - Barbie really caused me a lot of grief. All before the age of 7! And I haven't even thought about all those body image issues.

snips and snails and puppy-dogs' tails

Boys will be boys. I've heard it said . I've read about it. Now I am living it. As if I don't have enough gray hair already. I've already raised two daughters. Isn't my job finished? Apparently, Abe did not get that memo.

Abe went to a sleep over this weekend with 5 friends. He had so much fun. Pizza. Video games. Basketball - skins against shirts (he was on the skin team). He did not fall asleep until 4:05 (his words). At 3:05 (his time) the boys snuck out. HOLD ON RIGHT THERE!! Aren't they a little young to be sneaking out?? Third grade?? What really happened is that they walked out the back door and right back in. They got creeped out (his words). They were probably outside 60 seconds or less but in that 8 year old mind - they snuck out. I love, Love, LOVE that he is a talker! He just talked and talked and told me all about the party.

He said they could have went anywhere they wanted if they hadn't gotten scared. ANYWHERE! Since they were on the golf course AND IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE FRICKIN' NIGHT!! I asked him what their plan was. WAL-MART AT 3:30 A.M. ON A GOLF CART?

Darling and precious and adorable son of mine - for the record (no pun intended) just because the police knew where your dad lived when he was young does mean that we need the police to know where you live.

Like father. Like son. I'm so done.

Silver

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
-Life is Wonderful - Jason Mraz

I really didn't put enough thought into getting married. Does anybody? It's kinda like having a baby. Who really knows what that means until those babies are in middle school?

Randy and I have two extreme personalities. He is uber content and I am a type A rule follower who refuses to fail. We drive each other nuts but at the end of the day we must even each other out.

Cheers! Here's to 25 more years!

New Glasses

today....

Today I am eating my Grapefruit WITHOUT sugar. Thanks to Rhonda & Jamie (I think).

Today I sent Abe to school in clothes that were not too small. Thanks to a shopping trip yesterday.

Today I learned that when you store potatoes in the fridge it breaks the starch into sugar and makes them too sweet. So that is why I haven't liked my taters lately.

Today Abe has Tae Kwon Do. Again.

Today is going to be close to 70 outside.

Later today I will go to Newton for my accounting class. I'm not so sure about trend percents or common size percents.....I may need a career change after all.

Today Abe already asked me if his glasses will be here today! I have never seen a little guy so excited over new glasses!

Today I made the decision to stop contributing to my 401k until I feel better about the economy. I know what they say about now being the best time to buy stock low but I'm not really on board with that. I'm following my own instincts this time.

Today Randy is making reservations to take me out to dinner on Saturday. Out of town. Just the two of us! Yippee Skippee!

Today somebody asked Randy for a bid to paint their house. When does he just throw in the towel and do that full-time?

Today is my Friday!

Today, I should really figure out where to put a comma. I guess grammar will not be my new career.

I don't even play one on TV.....

I have self diagnosed myself once again. I think I may have Seasonal Affective Disorder. To make myself feel better I am making a list of things I am looking forward to. Before I know it - it will be Spring and I will be all better.

We are getting ready to make the final installment of Annie's college tuition! Just a few short years ago I would have never dreamed we could have done this without the heavy burden of a lot of debt. God has opened doors to make this possible (extra work for Randy - not a jackpot) and we are so thankful for this and so blessed to invest in our children's future. A much higher return than our sinking 401k's.

My windows are coming! My windows are coming! In just a couple of weeks my house will have clean windows that open and close and keep the cold winter out! Of all the home improvement projects we have done I would have never dared to hope we could have replacement windows. Randy pushed me on this and I am so thankful that he did!

March 3 - Our 25th anniversary. No Hawaii trip this year but I still have high hopes for our 30. We won't have any kids in college in 2014!

In a month our freezer will be full of the beef I love so much. We have gotten so spoiled by this I don't ever want to buy my meat from the grocery store again. I love being able to walk into our pantry and grab out steaks for the grill.

We are going to Chicago in May for a college graduation! I can hardly wait.

Happy 19!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!

19 things I love about you!

1. You love with all of your heart. (your love is so unconditional)
2. Your beautiful smile. (even without the dental work it would light my world )
3. You are feisty. (for many years this would not have been on my list)
4. All your dimples! (the first thing I noticed about you when you were born)
5. You make me feel like a good mom. (even when I feel like I've failed completely. Thank you for showing me grace)
6. You and your sister are best friends. (I hope you have each other always)
7. You treat your little brother like he is the most important person in the whole wide world. (He adores adores adores you!)
8. You are daddy's girl. (He adores adores adores you!)
9. You tell me how you really feel. (your honesty is refreshing....usually)
10. You aren't afraid to go against the grain. (I really admire this about you)
11. You challenge everything. (this has made your faith your own)
12. Your amazing artistic talent. (Need I say more? I love filling our home with your art)
13. You are fiercely loyal. (Do your friends know how lucky they are?)
14. You can text really fast. (And a lot & really really fast)
15. Your wild and crazy hair. (I shouldn't be jealous... )
16. Your beautiful baby blue eyes. (So much compassion in those eyes)
17. You are responsible AND dependable. (I am very proud of you)
18. You are non-judgemental. (You always choose to see what's on the inside and not the outside)
19. Your teen-age years were pretty much smooth-sailing. (I shouldn't speak so soon- you still have 12 months left!)

Regenerate

It may be because my birthday is right around the bend. It may be because it's inevitable. It may be because I have been married for almost 25 years. It may be because I have three kids. Whatever the reason I am starting to look old and worn out. I don't want anybody to ask Abe why his grandma is always with him. Now, don't get me wrong! There are plenty of awesome grandma's out there who step up and are active in their grandkids life. I think that is fabulous. If Stella were here that is how I would be. I am just not Abe's grandma. I am his mother.

Drastic times lead to drastic measures. I dug into my stash cash and I had a $6.00 coupon and I purchased me "plastic surgery in a bottle." (that sounds like such a country song)

Last night, I set it in the bathroom so I wouldn't forget to use it. Abe saw it up there and told Randy that "mom must have been really excited because she came right home and put that lotion around her eyes." This is funny for two reasons. First - It isn't EYE cream. It is for my FACE and second - I hadn't even used it yet.

This morning I felt like a 3rd grade science project. Abe wanted to check out my new face. (ummm....I may have had high hopes myself). He checked out my forehead. He was so disappointed that it still has all those spots. I told him those were chicken pox scars because I was 16 when I had those stupid things and I picked them off (that is way gross, I know). He told me to look at the bright side. Bright side? Yes. He informed me I would never have chicken pox again because you only get them once. Thanks little buddy! The glass is always 1/2 full with him.

He came to the conclusion that the magic face cream may take a few weeks to work and he will be the first one to let me know when it does.

living in a state of broke

Crazy times in which we live.

The state of Kansas cannot meet payroll and doesn't have the cash to send out income tax refunds. They have also shorted our schools of the money they owe them.

This is what Abe said yesterday:

"The school doesn't have any more money so if we use all of our markers then Mrs. Hulse can't go to the store and get any more. They won't give her any money to buy anything else for the classroom."

And then he said.....

"When we run out of markers at school I will come home and tell you right away so you can take care of it. You won't let us run out of stuff - will you mom?"

He is correct. I will not. In his lifetime all he knows is the adults who love him take care of him.

I am so sad that our kids have to experience the fallout for the bad choices the adults make.

But isn't that how it always is? Isn't that just life? That is what people will say. That is what people think.

I just want my kids to be kids. I want them to have makers and crayons and scissors and glue and books and snacks. To come home and go to piano lessons and karate. To have a new bike when their old one is too small. To be excited over Valentine's Day and their birthday. I want them to look forward to summer break and the water park and playing baseball and picnics with cousins. I want them to look forward to the first day of school with a backpack full of new pencils, crayons and notebooks and pink erasers. I want them to have small classes and teachers who are not stressed out about job security or too many students.

I will do what I can to filter the fallout before it hits him. He is only 8.

XOXOXO

I was so surprised to have a pot of beautiful red tulips waiting for me this morning. I am not a red rose kinda girl so I love love loved the tulips. My Sweetheart did good!

Tonight we are having heart shaped pizza and I am venturing out on my baking skills and baking a flourless chocolate cake with homemade whipping cream and fresh strawberries.

Since our kids were small we have had the tradition of having a family Valentine Dinner. Tablecloth. Candles. Heart napkins. The year we opted out and did a fancy downtown dinner was not so good for the picky eaters who we went with (me included). Now we stick to what we know. And since I couldn't get a reservation to save my life - we're staying home.

It may be just the three of us but Abe and I are still excited. I'm all about being all inclusive on February 14th. I enjoy surprising my kids with a little something-something to brighten their day and remind them how special they are to me and how much I love them. The guys all get their favorite candy and the girls get something fun and silly. I am a mom who loves family traditions and February 14th is one of those days.

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you are spending time with ones you love.

Mad Gab

An attempt to make reservations for Valentines Day.

Japanese Steakhouse #1
Me: Do you offer anything gluten free?
Her: We full on Saturday. You like Sunday?
Me: Maybe. Do you have anything that can be made gluten free?
Her: What time you like on Sunday? We full on Saturday.

Japanese Steakhouse #2
Me: Can you make anything gluten free?
Her: What time you like?
Me: Gluten. Free. Is there anything on your menu that can be made gluten. free.
Her: How many your party?

Mongolian BBQ
Me: Do you have anything gluten free?
Her: You would like a table for three?
Me: No. I was wondering if if you have anything gluten. free.
Her: This is my first day here. I don't know if we make that or not.

Peaches

It may be hard to tell but this picture was made with hundreds of little pieces of papers carefully cut from magazine pages. The entire weekend Annie complained that she felt like she was back in middle school art. Ummm.....my art did NOT look like this in middle school!

Lucky me - I have another beautiful piece of original art to add to my collection!

writers block

• Today was Annie's due date.
• I have been gluten free for an entire year.
• I have a new dishwasher. My dishes are so clean you could eat off of them!
• I have a cut and color today. I have seriously been thinking about just letting my hair go gray. grey. silver?
• I will only work 4 days this week. It's like the Groundhog Day movie. Every week I will have to remind myself - Fridays off.
• This week will be my first "short" paycheck.
• Abe has piano today. He has jumped way ahead in his book.
• Abe cannot focus.
• After special music, Abe hooted and whistled like he was at a Styx concert. How did he not know we were at church?
• Abe is having trouble focusing.
• Randy is working two full time jobs.
• I want a loft apartment just like the one Randy is painting.
• I am getting 21 new replacement windows and a new glass sliding door sometime this month.
• All of our taxes are done and filed.
• 90 days until Abby's graduation!!!

small talk

I am finally getting a brand spankin' new dishwasher this week. The appliance guy still swears he has NEVER EVER had a bad Kitchenaid dishwasher EVER. I beg to differ. Anyways, against my better judgement, we are replacing it with the same model. What are the odds of us getting THREE Kitchenaids with issues. Probably, pretty high (since it is me but I can't seem to be lucky enough to win the lottery. Go Figure!) Since they won't refund me any money on a cheaper model I don't want to loose hundreds of dollars. And I want it to match my stove and fridge. Time will tell if I have made a bad call.

I have started to look forward to my Tuesday paper with the Dillons ad in it. Sick, I know. But now that times are lean at my house it's all about cutting corners and getting a bargain. Last night in my paper - the Dillons ad was MIA. Give me a break. The entire highlight of my week was robbed of me.

Abe has come up with the brilliant idea that if he delivered the paper then he would just give me one for free. A free paper. "That would help with our budget. Right mom?" he says. I told him that when you are the paperboy you get a free paper. You don't have to resort to the five finger discount. I broke his heart. The effort to deliver that paper is so much more than the money I spend on the paper. However, I could maybe actually receive a Dillons ad!

I am starting my short weeks this week. Abe has requested that I get up on Friday's and make him a big breakfast because when he picks up his cousin for school, Sam has eaten pancakes, waffles, hash browns - you know - all the "big" breakfast foods. So that is what I will be doing. I can't do that during the week because I am just way too lazy busy. Starting Friday there will be free Grand Slam's at our house. And such a happy little 8 year old.

just an ordinary thursday

Funny thing. Whenever I have been jealous or envious of somebody elses life it always seems that somehow I find out things really aren't what they seem. I used to feel bad for people in my life because I thought that God would use them to teach me a lesson. What I learned is that nobody has a perfect life. It has nothing to do with me at all. Other times, I think that my thoughts lead up to strange things happening. I know that is not true. I know I don't have THAT much power. I have no luck with those lottery tickets. Still....

This morning I was listening to the radio show that I have on every morning. A lady called in and she was crying. She had went to work this morning to find out that she no longer had a job. She had perfect attendance. Great performance reviews. They had to let 10 people go and she was one of them. I was so thankful that wasn't me. My job is perfectly safe. I stopped for a cup of coffee on the way to work. There was a couple having rolls and coffee in the corner. It made me a little jealous because 1. I can't eat a roll and 2. I have to work during the week.

I was busy at work this morning catching up from my sick day yesterday. I had talked to Annie to switch my Friday trip in a few weeks to a Saturday because I have already used up 3 vacation days. She already had plans so I made a note to turn in for my fourth vacation day this year.

Around lunchtime my boss came to talk to me. He didn't sit like he does when it is something serious. He just stood in the door way like he always does. He informed me that starting next week I will be working 4 days a week instead of 5. I would normally be jumping up and down but he meant at a four day work week paycheck. He is hopeful it is temporary. They are making lots of financial changes. I happen to be one of them. A change...blahblahblah.... He said I was still valuable ....blahblahblah.....things are slow....blahblahblah....

I could go on and on about where the lost wages are allocated in our budget. I could go on and on about how we just closed last week on a 20 year mortgage. I could go on and on about having a daughter still in college. I will just shut up and spare you all the blood and gore of it. However, I will share some happy thoughts with you.

• When I told Abe he WAS jumping up and down. I have no idea why because the kid leaves for school and I am home and when he comes home from school I am here. His excitement made my heart flip flop, though.
• Liz thought it was fabulous!
• Annie is off on Friday's. I can spend more time in Manhattan with her or when she is home I can spend the day with her here.
• My parents are both off on Friday's. Tomorrow they are going to Dallas for the weekend. If it was next week - I'd go along.
• Randy told me to enjoy it. Do whatever I wanted on Friday's. Just don't spend any money.
• Sarah said there is coffee sometimes on Friday's. I can go! CHILDLESS NO LESS!
• I can save all those vacation days I was going to turn in for when Abe doesn't have school.
• I have NEVER been home while my kids were at school. Unless I was sick.
• My boss knew I would prefer Friday's off instead of Mondays. He was right.
• I still have a job for 24 hours a week. With full benefits.
• I have the option to keep my hours when things turn around at work.
• My boss thinks I will never work Friday's again.
• Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? I won't go that far!

sick day

I have felt this cold coming on for a couple of days now. This morning the thought of going out and sitting behind my desk for six hours was more than I could take. After Abe left for school I called in sick and didn't get out of bed until 11:15 a.m. Do I feel better? No. Not really.

My dilemma is that whenever I miss work for a day that isn't planned in advance I feel horrible. I feel like I haven't called in sick for years and now I've done it twice in the past couple of months.

Of course - I will always feel like I did something to make myself sick. It's all my fault. That is how people like me feel. I had to use the pen at Dillon's when I couldn't find mine. (I couldn't use my debit card because it has been cancelled and they are sending me a new one. Something about my number had been compromised at a processing center.) Last Friday I let a co-worker use my pen to sign something when he obviously had a horrible cold. Gross!

So here I sit. Getting ready to crawl back in bed again. Wondering why I just didn't hauled my rear to work this morning.

I like CLEAN

Do you remember this? Ever since I got that stupid Kitchenaid dishwasher I have been pre-washing and then re-washing when the dishwasher is finished. Is it too much to ask for clean dishes? No coffee stains? No stuck on food to my drinking glasses? Plates that are sparking clean?

We have had every part imaginable replaced (warranty - thank goodness!) and now I want a new dishwasher. We have went round and round with the small hometown appliance store we purchased this from. I only purchased Kitchenaid because they had the refrigerator that would fit into my teeny tiny built in spot. So much for matching appliances. I don't ever want another Kitchenaid again. If Randy can't talk small hometown appliance store into a complete replacement tomorrow, what ever will I do? We (especially Randy) work so hard and when our purchases are lemons I get so MAD!

Is nothing built to last anymore? Is nothing built to work in the first place?

at recess he'll go get hisself a deer or a turkey or maybe a pheasant

Plan B?

In Real Simple magazine they have a section for different uses for every day items. Do you happen to have an extra pair of hearing protectors laying around? We did. We had been racking our brain for years as to what to do with those things during off-hunting season. Now we know!

Abe is going to wear these while he is working on his papers at school. You know - to block out the sound of his classmates. The ones who talk to themselves or count out loud on their fingers. Oh! That IS my child who does that! I guess they will block out whatever other noises may distract an eight year old boy sitting in his third grade class who can't concentrate. At first, I thought he was totally kidding and then I found out that kids actually do wear these!

Had these been around when I was in third grade - I may be able to do math myself today.

Loop Hole

If there is one thing I can do - it is parent a third grader. I've been down this road before. I've had two 8 year olds before the one I have now and I have been around the block a few times. Third grade is a piece of cake.

Last week it occurred to me that Abe had been bringing home way more homework than he had before Christmas. Mostly math. So I asked him why he had math homework in 2009 and not so much in 2008. What changed? He told me went to the bathroom during math and didn't have enough time to finish his work sheet and therefore had to finish it at home.

The next day he had math homework. Again, I asked him why he was bringing home math sheets and he said he didn't have time in class to finish it. I knew he understood it because he was getting 100% on his tests. Did he go the bathroom again? He couldn't remember. hmm.....

I called out the big guns - I called his teacher. This was traumatic for him. I'm not sure why but he was not so happy with me.

Mrs. H says that Abe has been having trouble focusing since the Christmas break. In addition he wants to write everything out in cursive. So 10 problems of writing 2,093 out in word form takes the little guys f o r e v e r because each letter has to be perfect and if it's not he erases and starts over. (OH NO! Mr. Bill! Not the eraser!) Then there is a tear in the paper.....

We decided that we would work on the issue at home. We told Abe if he could go five nights without homework their would be a treat. An I-pod touch? he asked. Actually, a blizzard from DQ.

I, knowing the perfectionist that he is and me being the perfectionist that I am, did not want to compound any more stress on the little guy. It did not have to be five nights in a row and, of course, regular homework did not count. Only the work that there had been plenty of time in class to finish was a part of the deal.

Several evenings passed. No homework. By Friday I commented on what a good job he had been doing getting his work all done at school. He had been finishing at school, right?

He spilled the beans. He hadn't gotten his work FINISHED at school - he just hadn't brought it home. Just like our deal.

He didn't bring home any math sheets because the unfinished math sheets were at school. IN HIS DESK!

PLAN B!!!!!

typical

Our house is over 100 years old and it has been a love-hate relationship since the beginning of time. I feel as if I am in some sort of sick abusive relationship I just can't let go of. I love my house. I hate my house. I love my house so much I will never ever leave it. I would give everything I own away to move into a new house.... Wait! I love my house, again.

One of the things I hate is how cold and drafty it is. It doesn't keep us warm like other houses do. That is about to change! Yesterday, we had lots and lots and then some more insulation blown in. Apparently I am not smart enough to put two and two together. I did not realize that all that the wind I felt blowing INSIDE my house was the result of cracks from the outside. I was totally unaware that when they blew lots and lots and then some more insulation from the outside it would penetrate those little cracks and leave insulation ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE! That is the price I pay for modern conveniences like warmth?? I swear, we cannot take on a project at our house without it being messy, dirty and very expensive.

Lovely. Just beautiful.