somewhere in the middle

Signs of middle age.

When your boss asks you for a current 3 year loss run and you remember not so long ago you did that. Not so long ago was August. of 2007.

When you are are finally starting to feel OK about what you have saved for retirement and then the stock market takes a hit. And then another. And then another. And then you are thankful you have a good 20 more years of work before you need it.

When you have to ask your 8 year old to read the baking instructions off of the package because you don't have your glasses near. And then your husband offers to read it and he can't see it either. AND he has has his glasses on!

When you are on a soapbox about the value of higher education. You would beg, borrow or steal to get your kids that diploma. And then they are the ones who will have to carry that extra financial burden. And you just want them to have a comfortable middle class life. Are we even entitled to comfort? Another blog - that's for sure.

When, for the first time, you realize that with the changing of the guards, there will be lots of changes. For our country. For us. For our kids. maybe for the entire world. For sure.

When we realize if we want to make a career change it is now or never. More on this later.

When you have 12 extra rolls of paper towels and 24 bars of random bath soap stashed under your bed. And then your bedroom smells just like your Grandma's did. Only you aren't THAT old just yet. You are really somewhere between young & hip and old with bad hips.

You would be like me. I am somewhere in the middle.

one day he will thank us

Abe has been anxiously awaiting Lego Batman for his Wii. He has been counting down the days and been begging to go to Wal-Mart. He has also been begging to wash baseboards. Scrub down walls. Scrub the toilet with a toothbrush (just kidding on this one) fold laundry. Pick up dog pooh outside. Anything. Anything to earn a buck. So today, while we were standing in the game aisle he dropped the question.

"Mom! Will you PLEASE buy Batman for me and I can work it off???? PLEASE!!???"

Honestly, I would love to just get it for him. Then I remember the balance, actually lack thereof, in my checkbook.

I have a wonderful idea. Let's call Dad!

Sobering news. Dad has also seen our checkbook and so he told the little guy he could buy it after he had earned the money to pay for it himself. ALL the money. When he had cash in hand, then he could have it.

For the next 20 minutes in Wal-Mart I heard this:

"I will have to work 10 HOURS to earn enough money." longer - you forgot sales tax.
"You and dad are so lucky. You make so much money you can just buy anything you want." Exactly. Milk. Cereal. Karate. Health insurance. Piano. Do you think I ENJOY the grocery game?
"I only make $5 an hour!" When I was your age I walked uphill, in the snow, to school. BOTH WAYS! AND we didn't get paid for squat.
"Why can't I just go to the bank and get the money?" Where have you been! I am going to require you to watch 1 hour of CNN a day!

This evening, while I was at class, Randy took Abe to get some work done. When I got home I asked Randy how many hours Abe clocked. He said he actually worked about 30 minutes but he told Randy to put him down for 2 hours.

Wasn't it just yesterday that he told me he always tells the truth?

Pants on fire!

As of late, the topic of children telling tales has come up in conversation. I am sure all of my kids went through the stage of "not telling the whole truth" but honestly, I can't remember. I do know I would not have tolerated it and probably stuck a bar of soap in their mouth for an entire day. Annie may remember but I do not because I pass a stage and I forget it. After recently watching a home video of the girls being out of control and my house being a complete wreck I think I know why. My life was pure chaos back then. Now that I am older and have only one child to raise (with candlelight and soft jazz music in the background) - it seems much calmer. We have more one and one time. Good grief! It is ALL one on one time. There is also no sibling rivalry. Nobody to fight with Abe over who gets the silver Lego.

Conflict at our house is almost non existent so I wondered why I don't remember if Abe has lied to me. I decided to ask him this morning during the 10 minutes it takes him to tie his shoes. He measures the loops and the tails to get them all the exact. same. length. it. is. a. very. tedious. process.

Me: Have you ever told a lie?
Abe: Of course I have- everybody lies at some point in their life. (He is 8 not 88)
Me: Have you ever told ME a lie?
Abe: I am sure I have.
Me: What did you tell me that wasn't true?
Abe: I don't remember (at this point he looks up at me from measuring his shoestrings) but I always tell the truth now, mommy.

hmmm......

Granny's Secret Ingredient.

Every day Abe has homework. So this means that every day we sit beside him to keep him focused company.

After he is finished with math we double check it and may have to say something like, "look at problem 4 again," or "double check problem 2." However, with his reading homework - it is not so black and white.

He has a couple of chapters to read each night and then a few written questions.

Like this:

Question: What happened to the brownies and how did the issue get resolved?

Abe: The boys forgot to put the bacon grease in. How do you spell bacon grease?
Me: Bacon grease?
Abe: YES! How do you spell bacon?
Me: They put bacon grease in the brownies?
Abe: NO! They FORGOT to put bacon grease in. How do you spell bacon?
Me: Are you sure you read that correctly?
Abe: MOM!!!!! It is in chapter 5. Read it yourself. (This reminds me exactly how Abby was when we would work on homework. Very edgy)
Me: I think those would be gross brownies. They put bacon grease like what comes from a pig? Eggs and Bacon? They forgot to put the bacon grease in?
Abe: NO! Not that kind of bacon. Why would they put BACON grease in their brownies?? Bakin' grease like I'm Bakin' a cake.
Me: Like PAM? Like I spray in the pan so the brownies don't stick?
Abe: Yes! Bakin' grease! The boys forgot to put it in the pan and the mom had to dump it all out and put some in so the brownies wouldn't stick after they baked 'em.

I think we have a teeny tiny speech issue or a hearing impediment.

Survivor

A list of things I have survived this week. Needless to say I am sure happy that it is Friday!

• The first full week of Abe's extracurricular activities. That would include, but not be limited to, four afternoons and three evenings of commitments. In addition lots of math homework and reading.
• A KCC (KS Corporation Commission) audit at work.
• My first college exam in many, many years.
• The first weekend that Annie is not coming home from college.

Suave

"Mom! We are out of hair soap."

"You mean shampoo?"

"That is what I said. Hair soap."

Wheel of Fortune

Just so happens last week when I was playing the "grocery game" I saw Lil' Miss Grocery Game winner at the store. So I just tagged along with her for the remainder of the trip. It was then I realized how much more fun (oxymoron) it was shopping with a buddy. The flip side is that she pointed out how many coupons I was missing. Why on earth I had not just thrown in the towel already is beyond me. I sensed a pattern here. I would go with my list and my coupons and somehow not have all my coupons with me. This seemed to be happening week after week. All to save a buck. The strange is that I double checked my list against my coupons and then I had Randy triple check. I am nothing if not consistent.

Sarah tried to keep me motivated by reminding that by this time in the "game" we should have enough money with our coupon savings to purchase a small freezer. If we had saved enough money to purchase a small freezer and if I happened to already own a freezer doesn't that mean one thing? Yep. I could use that savings to buy A NEW PURSE! I guess I wasn't really adding up my savings so much. I was still a tad bitter over that free Crystal Light. (Now would be the time for you to take a moment to pray silently for my attitude. My family deeply appreciates that. Thanks.)

Since last week seemed to go a little better at the store I decided I wanted to do all my shopping with Sarah at my side. Just like Vanna White, she would show me the sausage and ask if I wanted link or patty. When I am alone I can't even find the Tennessee Pride.

I begged and pleaded and she agreed to meet me there. I printed my list, clipped my coupons and we had a "date." She reminded me that I should bring all my coupons as to avoid last weeks missing coupon fiasco. ALL my coupons? They are not cut or filed. In fact, they are a wadded up pile of trash. If I had a cleaning lady she would have thrown them out. Good thing I don't have one of those.

We met in paper goods and I saw her cart. Her black file box all neat and tidy and organized and memorized. Mine? All scrunched up in my fist. I try not to be too hard on myself. I am, after all, taking that accounting class from H.E. double toothpicks and what else does she have to do with her time except stay at home all day and clip and sort and organize and file? That just gave me a brilliant idea! I should give her all MY coupons to clip and sort and organize, too.

Miracle of all miracles, I had all the coupons for the things on my list. The best part was when the cashier gave me my total. An entire cart of groceries rang up to $40. And I saved....
drum roll please....

$62.00!!

short people are people, too

I saw this on Yahoo news this morning.

What boosts happiness as much as money?

This intrigued me so I clicked it to read more.

The answer?

BEING TALL!

probably 'cause I don't have GPS

When Abe started Tae Kwan Do three years ago, I never imagined that it would turn into what it has. It is his "thing" and has turned into 24-7. I may be exaggerating but only a tad. I know plenty of people who put their kids on traveling sports team and I know they spend more time and effort than I ever will but still, for my little world this seems like a lot. blah blah blah. Anyways, he has his thing what is mine?

We were really tempted to keep Abe home from our Wednesday night church for yet another year. Why? Because it is just something else on our calendar. And every time I leave him there I feel the guilt nudge that I should be doing more to help out at Church. I would help with sign in but nobody ever asks me to do something that I would actually enjoy. Nooo. They ask me to wipe noses or heard a bunch of wild kids around. So I cop an attitude and just don't want to be there. I seriously need to go to confession (if we had it) about my bad boy attitude. Why can't I do something fun? Do I have to call and make the announcement, "Hey! It's me Stephanie! Do you have any fun church jobs? You know - like sitting on my butt and checking the kids in? And if possible, can I do it with my friends? "

I can justify just about everything that I have removed myself from. It's not like I'm not doing ANYTHING you know. College class-which involves 6 hours of homework a week and I am not exaggerating this time. I work outside the home. We have laundry (you have that too, you say? The thing is I don't have front loaders) Not to mention the mother of all - this old house (you don't have THAT, I bet!)

Shouldn't I be involved in something that takes the focus off of me? I could be teaching Sunday School? It is so not my thing. Helping in the nursery? Not so much my cup of tea, either. I could be and should be going to an adult Sunday School class. I don't because mostly everybody pretends to have it all together and I get stressed out comparing myself. I know - sue me. That is not what Sunday School is all about but still......right or wrong it's how I feel.
I could be helping with the Habitat house- Randy doesn't even let me know where the hammer is at my own house! I want to have people over to eat and hang out. Build stronger friendships. Why is this so hard?

The olden days of so long ago I actually did stuff and complained. These days I just don't do anything and still complain.

I keep telling myself that I am introvert after all. A guilty introvert in need of getting off her rear and finding some meaningful direction.

If you are a salesman I am your dream.

We went to the state fair last night. There is so much cool stuff for sell there at special State Fair prices, too! Here is my short wish list had my budget (and husband) allowed:

• First, I wanted the Elderberry Juice concentrate - good for what ails you. Eczema, allergies, colds, flu, constipation. Diarrhea, however, did not make that list so I saved myself $15
• I wanted the ring cleaner. It is made in the good ole U.S.A. AND it is all organic so if Abe would accidentally eat or drink it he would be perfectly fine. The lady cleaning my ring said so. Did she honestly think Abe looked like a kid who would sneak into my chemicals to take a whiff? He may if it smells and tastes like oranges and lemons. Well, my wedding ring has never looked so good! So nice and shiny. AND she said my ring was beautiful. So sweet of her! $20 for the combo. For an extra $6 we could get eye glass cleaner for Randy's glasses. This is the kind of stuff I pull out of the back of my bathroom cabinet in ten years and it is all crusty and dried up. So I saved myself one more thing to throw out in my ten year bathroom cabinet clean out.
• I also wanted the huge shower sprayer head. We already have something similar but I think that one was bigger and was way nicer than ours. $90 bucks?? That is exactly the same amount I owe my brother for my computer upgrade. I'm sure he would appreciate payment so I walked away. (BTW - I'm out of check blanks)
• I wanted new mop covers for my mop. Specifically, the one with the scrubbers. $10 for one or I could get three for $20. We'll keep using the non-scrubber version we already own. The scrubbers at our house are called MUSCLES!
• Temper- Pedic mattress. This would be so awesome and my back might stop hurting. I had to pass because our set is only three years old AND this would have set us back $3199.
• I wanted to get Abe one of those space-age-looking cars. That ended when Randy told me they were $400. I thought Grandma should get one for her house and her new big concrete driveway. The kids would fight over that - wouldn't they?
• I was sold on the pellet stove for our basement. Especially because it was cold last night and that fire was so warm and cozy. $2499. How can you put a price on warm and cozy? Apparently, you can because we didn't buy one. So if you are cold when you come to my house in the winter (and you know who you are!) keep your coat and mittens on!
• Coasters for the cup holders in your vehicle! COOL! I actually bought these! $2.99 each.
• Spray that would keep my ceiling fan dust free for 6 months. 6 MONTHS!!!! I'm not sure how much this was because we didn't actually stop to see. I wanted to but Randy promised me he would clean our fans every 6 months for free.

clean air

Him: We need to get prepared for the Pandemic Flu. Do you think we have water bottles and groceries to make it 30 days?

Me: Not sure about the water bottles but thanks to the grocery game we do have air fresheners for atleast three years.

every good boy does fine

I love my little black belt but after 4 hours of taekwondo a week I think we need to balance all that kicking with something - well - something more soothing and calming. Something like piano. I am an equal opportunity parent and because his sisters both have the ability to play I think he should too. You never know how that monetary investment will turn out - but that is another story. SISTERS????

We have pulled out all those vintage Orange Alfred lesson books. Thanks to Abby for being so sentimental about that huge pile of books I had in the trash pile a few short years ago.

Today Abe gets to use them for his very first piano lesson!

genetic speech genes???

I was in speech class when I was in elementary school. Back then - it was a big humiliating deal because the other two kids I was in speech with, were, well, they were "special" and we got stuck in the basement of the school. In the basement with the extra desks and chairs. I had speech in the basement. With the special kids. In the storage room. Probably when the other kids were learning really important things like North and South and East and West. I am not sure if my speech is any better and my directions sure as heck aren't. For example, these days I can't find my way out of a paper bag and I can't tell you my diagnosis unless there is a nurse in the room who can pronounce it for me.

Because I want my child to be smarter than his mother, when we go over spelling words, I have him say them in a sentence as he is writing them down. (someday I hope to learn where to put comma's, too)

Me: Plane.
Him: You like your hamburgers plain.
Me: No. Not that plain the other plane.
Him: You mean like airplane?
Me: YES!
Him: I have never been on a plane. Except when I was a baby and I don't remember. P.L.A.N.E.
Me: Great!

Me: Few
Him: Few! I am glad that plane landed safely.
Me: NO!!! Few - like a couple or a few.
Him: When I got off that plane there were only a few seats left. F.E.W.

Me: Important
Him: It is inportant that I use these words right so you don't get mad. I.N.P.O.R.T.A.N.T.
Me: I am so done.

because he said so

Every weekday morning we have the same routine. Randy gets up at 5:15 and he wakes Abe up and they eat breakfast. After breakfast, Abe comes and gets back in bed with me until my alarm goes off at 7:00. For as long as I can remember when he hops into bed he gives me a kiss and says, "That one is from daddy" and then he gives me another kiss and says, "That one is from me!" Yesterday morning when he hopped up into bed he kissed my forehead and said, "That one is from daddy and I had toast so I didn't want to get any gluten crumbs on your lips."

no Wabash.

First week of college. First college football game as a student in the student section. Season ticket purchased. Worst day of her young life (according to her!)

There were some issues with the season ticket. Apparently, because we are on the installment plan to pay for our tuition and the first installment isn't due until September 9th - the season tickets aren't officially paid for. So Saturday after standing in the WRONG line for an hour and half and then moving over to another line and hearing (after already missing kick off) "no ticket for you because YOUR ACCOUNT IS NOT PAID!" she was not such a happy girly. Have you seen my girl when she is not happy?

She just needed some TLC so she came home to get a break from big bad college. She brought along her new friend. The same friend who gave away HER ticket to one of the other hundred crying kids who were also on the installment plan. And Annie and her hung out the rest of the day.

So sorry you missed the game, honey, but we were glad to see your smiling face! Your impeccable taste in friends has carried right on into college.

going for gold?

classmates

I was excited and nervous for my class reunion. Since I had not seen a lot of these people for 15 years - it was strange to think that we would spend an entire evening hanging out and talking and enjoying it. I thought that we could all keep up with facebook. Umm....I was the only one who has a facebook and some of them HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD OF FACEBOOK!

It was fun to remember (or in my case - not remember) so much from our growing up years. It was also fun to see how much people changed (or didn't) over the years. I think we agreed most of us were the same - only now we dressed like our parents! We laughed so hard and had so much fun that I am glad I didn't miss it. Here are some of the funny things we reminisced over.

The mean girl. I could not believe that we all had endured her in silence all those years.

Why the valedictorian of our class was not in National Honor Society.

We had a very old substitute teacher and one of the boys would pretend to be a cat and rub up against his leg!

Smoke on the Water - our pep band anthem.

Our teachers praying for us before class began.

The way the elementary school smelled.

Our second grade teacher using a bar of soap to wash out a kids mouth in front of the entire class

Shooting beans through a pea shooter at our VBS teacher.

All the drama of all those slumber parties.

My friend and I were going to go out for icecream. In the middle of a school day. We saw our typing teacher driving towards us. Trish ducked so the teacher wouldn't see her and then I ducked. The thing was that I WAS DRIVING!

That right there about sums up my highschool life. Me being the follower even when I should have been in the drivers seat.