New Standard Operating Procedure

It seems like the cold and flu season has already begun. Since I hate to be sick (OK - that is a stupid statement. Who LIKES to be sick?) our family is all scheduled for our flu shots the first weekend of November. Just precautionary. Just in case.

We have hand sanitizer in the SUV. We have plenty of soap in the house. I have given my children lessons and lectures on the importance of hand washing and I am ALWAYS asking them, "DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?"

No sharing drinks. Those days are gone.

Even with all of that - we will get sick. It is inevitable. However, those germs are going to have to work overtime to catch us.

I was feeling like I had a grip on things. And then I read this. The 12 Germiest Places in Your Life. Now, I am working on new standard operating procedures for my family.

Here are some of the new rules:

Drinking fountain -Abe is officially finished with the drinking fountain at school and church. He will have his own personalized water bottle. To be attached to his belt loop at all times. Not be shared. With anybody. Ever.

Laundry- I have heard about the washer being full of bacteria before. This makes no sense to me because isn't the laundry CLEAN when you take it out? So to avoid the icky stuff they are talking about the family is going to be wearing Depends. They are disposable. Enough said.

My Purse - I try to be careful where I put my purse. Now I am going to be a Nazi. I guess I'll be holding it on my lap at all times. I have an aunt who does this. So when you see me clinging to my purse - it's not because of my Vodka inside - it is because I don't want it contaminated.

My Bathtub - I knew this one, too, but I think I forgot about it for a while. I shower in morning and take a bath in the evening. I guess I need to take a shower after work, too. That will remove the germs from my morning shower. The afternoon bathtub germs can be washed off at night and then those can be washed off in the a.m. This won't be just my cycle. No. I want my entire family to be clean and as germ free as possible. It will be for all of us.

Shopping Carts - We will no longer use them. We will only buy what we can carry in our arms. If I need several things the family will have to be a team and go to Wal-Mart together. I may even have to call in extended family and friends for our big grocery shopping trips. They won't be too surprised. They already think I'm a little odd....And I'd do the same for them.

ATM Buttons - I was aware of money being filthy. I really had never thought about the ATM machine. I guess we will just stay home so we don't need cash. This is great for my budget, anyways. No more cash.

Playgrounds - I'm going to talk to Abe's teacher about having him sit at his desk and color during recess. Or maybe some quiet reading time. This won't be hard since he LOVES those kind of calm activities. He will eventually thank me because he will be avoiding (and I quote) blood, mucus, saliva and urine, all of which are found on playgrounds. Do you think his desk would be dirty or clean?