Door Number 2

I won't lie. I have been tanning. My normally pasty white skin is now a beautiful olive color. The same color that my sister-in-law has every single day of her life. Except in the summer when she is a golden shade of brown. Jealous? Yes I am.

I have been tanning at the movie rental place. Just so happens that they have announced that they are shutting the doors. So I decided I needed to get a move on my remaining tans. So today I pulled up and the place was packed. I guess everybody was wanting to get a bargain since all the previously viewed movies were 20% off. Honestly, I have NEVER seen that many people in the place. Ever.

So - I go in and the clerk sends me to door #2. I shut the door. It doesn't lock. The lock seems to be broken. So I head out to the counter and I tell the girl that the door is broken. She asks me if I mean that the lock is broken and I reply "Yes. THE DOOR LOCK does not work!" The other girl said "That lock is tricky and neither one of has figured out the trick yet but nobody will walk in on you."

Nobody will walk in on me? Are you kidding?

By this time all of the goof-balls looking for their goofy previously viewed movies that nobody has ever even heard of are now staring at me. Listening. The entire store has heard that DOOR #2 DOESN'T LOCK!

The clerk giggles, "We will make sure that nobody walks in on you."

Really? Will she dive over the counter, past the Hot Tamales and Mike & Ikes, and stand guard over the door the first time one of those snotty nose little boys runs away from his mom and opens the door? I think not.

"Really. You will be perfectly safe."

So I head to the room. I move the chair and trash can in front of the door and I tan.

For fifteen minutes all that I could think of was that I seriously needed my head examined.

That was the dumbest thing I have done all week. Not counting the fact that I am even laying in a tanning bed in the first place.