because I am getting on in years

My life has been preempted from it's regularly scheduled programing by a mid-life crisis. I have felt it coming on for some time now and shrugged it off because, honestly, I never gave credit to that kind of stuff. Now that I am living it, however, I think I do believe that yes indeed, they do exist. I have had several "triggers" as of late. One of them being a very stupid class reunion with a very stupid questionnaire. My secret from high school is that I WAS Pat Benatar (think Hannah Montana) and I am one of the billionaire partners of Google. Randy thinks people will know I am making this stuff up. I think not.

Don't men do really stupid things, like buy a Corvette, when they are my age? I've been working on my own list. I have several options.

Tall, Dark and Handsome. (just kidding!)
A bright red, fully restored VW Bug convertible. An old one - not a new one. Circa 1966. One that the wheels don't fall off.
A tattoo. This won't happen because you know how I am about changing my mind. I would have horrible buyers remorse and be reminded every time I saw the flower that I wished was a butterfly.
An entire new wardrobe from Gap. All in petite. All in a size smaller than I am in now.
Wild and crazy hair color. Maybe bleach blond on top and black underneath.
A tummy tuck.
A 7 day cruise. Nothing less but maybe longer. I would want a bunch of people that I like really well to go along with us.
Lasik eye surgery. I can't see worth a hill of beans in my contacts and I'm not so thrilled with my glasses.
A purse that I that I can but WITHOUT looking at the price tag. The sky's the limit here. Two or three hundred dollars. No biggie.