coulda shoulda woulda

I can't make too many decisions without it turning into a big ordeal. Truth be told, I don't think I can make ANY decision without should I or shouldn't I? Should I keep it or return? Or should I go back and get it or just forget it? It drives my entire family nuts. (Myself included!)

Whenever there is a choice there is also an opportunity for failure. I don't want to make a mistake and because of my extreme black or white thinking, it is paralyzing for me to have to choose between two options of equal value. I want to pick the best choice but when there is no clear best, I am stuck. I get anxious trying to make a decision I won't regret. And it appears I regret almost everything.

I tend to agonize over decisions I made 25 years ago. Which is ridiculous because I am looking at those choices through 43 year old eyes instead of the eyes of the 18 year old I was then. I made the best choice for me at that time. I made choices based on my knowledge, maturity, resources, and support at the time. As much as I hate to admit it - I didn't know any better and there wasn't anybody to guide me in a different direction.

This brings me back to overgeneralizing... I am constantly telling myself that I never can make a good decision and that I am a terrible decision maker. That leads me to always regretting my choices.

Instead, this is what I need to say:

"I doubt that every decision I make is poor. If that were true, I'd be in jail. Everybody makes decisions they regret and occasional poor choices, but most of my decisions are good."

I looked to see what I was wearing today and it's not prison stripes so that confirms it. My choices can't be all bad. However, I am wearing a floral shirt that I agonized over. I couldn't decide on the blue stripe or the floral. So I let Randy pick. Good Grief!

This reminds me of a major decision (because any decision I make is major) I made last night. I suppose I will be keeping Wii Fit. I will not return it and I won't feel guilty about the purchase and I won't over analyze where the money could have been better spent or invested.

Enough said.

And if you are wondering - I'm not going back to Gap for the blue striped shirt, either. Or sending my mom to pick it up for me.

I can definitely tell that I am getting so much better at making decisions. Don't you think?