I haven't had a day where I have felt like this in a long time. A day that should have been spent at home under the covers. Not in the outside world. Because all ability to cope is practically gone. All reasoning has left my brain.
A day where I walk into my office and cry. A day where I am mad at nobody but feel like I'm mad at everybody. A day where I'm frustrated with nothing in particular but frustrated with every single thing.
It's been a day where my expectations and reality have crashed together. They coexist in a parallel universe until something or someone crosses the line. Then BOOM! I am where I am today. Very grumpy.
This week decisions have been decided. Choices have been chosen. I may not like them. They may or may not involve me directly but I feel burdened in my heart. A heart can be deceiving.
And I cry easily. I always have. I hate that about myself. I will grow old hating it.
On the bright side - my house is a wreck. I'm having people over tomorrow so I get to go home and crank up my ipod. Light my candles. Drink wine. Clean. Do laundry. Do useful things. Utilitarian things. Unemotional chores.
And the sun is supposed to shine tomorrow. Amen!
3 comments:
Hang in there friend.
Just think of that new little life that is being created...and know that this too shall pass..you are loved and what can I do to help?
Can I come over beforehand and help you? Everything will be all right or alright. Whichever is correct.
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